10 Reasons for Leaving the American Dream Behind

I'm leaving on a jet plane ... don't know when I'll be back again

Why I decided to live overseas.

Bye-bye Miss American Pie. I am leaving soon. I still love you America … but, I think a long distance relationship suits us better. Why? Well, I’ve sat down and looked through my entire life in pursuit of the American Dream and this is what I’ve discovered:

1. I’ve spent the equivalent of 2.5 years of my life sitting in traffic going to  and from work to achieve the dream. I can no longer afford to do that. Life is way too short.

2. I’ve driven the equivalent of 4.5 times around the world going to and from work. And all I’ve seen was the license plates of the cars in front of me.  Time to enjoy the sunsets on a beach in the Philippines or the moon rise over the Great Wall of China.

3. I diligently put more money into my mortgage than my home was worth. The bank made money while I worked my butt off. Then, the bank starts to fold because it doesn’t invest wisely and both Bush and Obama bail them out. Hey … no one ever bailed me out when I was short of funds at the end of the month because I didn’t know how to invest my money wisely.

4. Andrew Zimmern and Tony Bourdain look like they’re having fun travelling all over the world eating worms. I’m joining them for some balut and thousand year old duck eggs and bird’s nest soup. Ummmm … but no sex organs … just can’t see myself biting into a … you know what cooked in wine sauce.

5. I’ve eaten Big Macs in Nanning, China and Manila, Philippines. They taste the same but cost much much less. Thank you, I’ll harden my arteries on the cheap.

6. For some reason my favorite beers are all imported. I’m going to export myself and get the beers right out of the breweries. P.S. I like Asahi, Corona, Heineken,  and San Miguel.

7. I used to believe in buying American. My very first car was a Ford Pinto … yeah, yeah … I know, but I was a dumb kid back then. I blew up its engine one day and tried to fix it myself, but my tools didn’t fit because its parts were all metric.  Then I discovered  that the engine was built overseas. Well, if overseas is good enough for Ford, it’s good enough for me.

8. If you’ve read my profile, you know that I’m Asian in my genetic make-up. I’ve lived a life full of Superbowls, hot dogs, and Clint Eastwood movies. As I’ve matured, I’ve developed a taste for sushi, tai chi, and horror movies made in Korea.

9. I’ve lived through many wars, most of which the USA won. And in doing so, it either spent billions of dollars rebuilding those countries or struggled to win the peace. I’m going to move to a country that is smart enough to lose wars and collect foreign aid from the USA.

10. And if I should ever get homesick living abroad, well I’ll just hop into a cab and drive to a Pizza Hut, Kentucky Fried Chicken, or McDonald’s in the Philippines.

(Photo by: Pavel Jedlicka)